A Psalm of David - Selah!
from the arranger of music on the anniversary of the death of his niece.
Lord I am so angry!
You let us down so badly
How could you?
I am so hurt
I thought you wanted to heal
Why didn't you?
I am so disappointed in you
You could have answered my prayer
are my prayers so worthless?
Lord why did you cast us adrift
and have us lost in the blackness?
Even now after all this time I am still sad.
Will I live with sadness forever?
Did you allow this to happen so I would grow as a person?
was life not important
Does my sister just get on with life
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away - Ha!
Is that the best you can do?
But Lord - there is no-one else who can comfort.
In the end I guess there is only you.
So - Here I am again - Selah!
Exile
I came from a lost family.
Somewhere, a moment away, I don't know when
They lost who they were. They became unrooted.
The exile was dreadful - but what mattered is not what they took,
money, pride, language, anger, fears, hurts
but what they left their rootedness - they sought anonymity -
tolerance, were thankful for indifference
What matters is not the money, the power, the anger, the alienation -
but to find the sense of joy, acceptance,
strength, its inside you - god plants it in.
When am I home? What is home
-accepting friends who love me as
I am and God seeing and calling me in
Exile
some thing are part of me
like my friends and family
I'd cry if I had to leave them,
to be deserted on an island
some things I like are hard to miss out
like football training and cub scouts
god would always be with me
for comforting and company
I love homer and he's my pet
to part with him would make us fret
to be deserted would make me worry
I would say to god "I'm sorry!!"
I like to play computer games
and to leave them would be a shame.
But I have always got you lord.
with your strength and loving accord.
Amen
Harry Baker
Exile
I tried
but you didn't listen
Why?
What did I do?
You just threw me out
That's where I live
Yes, on the street
Of all the places, the street
All because of you!
I always felt sorry for people who had nothing
Now I'm one of them are you sorry?
Are you?
I know your touch, I feel your love.
Your peace is near. Your grace washes
I learn to try. I try to learn.
I'm confused. I fall down. I'm exiled. I'm confused
Are my leaders confused. Do they fall down.
Yet I'm exiled and I fall down
Oh my God, lead me into your presence
Into your way of everlasting
Did I ask too much. Am I not allowed to fail, to fall.
I need your perspective, your heart
lead me, lead us. Tend me, tend us.
It wasn't that we'd lived there long
A couple of centuries that's all
It wasn't that wonderful a place. Bricks & mortar. Rough walls. A roof.
A place of peace, a blessing from God
A place of welcome, a blessing to people
Our enemies wanted the land for their own. Defence and security they said
Not the home - they would build a new home easily enough
Their claim was strong:
Land given by God
Our claim was weak:
Land of our ancestors
Land of our birth
We have been taken to new land
Our home a temporary shelter
But we will praise our God
For he is still our God
We are blessed under canvas and stars
And there is still welcome here in His name
Exile
More than a day in the pit and despair
A whole existence without a future, not even a now
God don't let me be there.
Without Linda, friends, family,
life would seem without hope.
I would be so angry at you God
that I would have spit on the ground you have created.
Even though you probably would be
I wouldn't like you there
But still, but still, but still
You love me and I don't want you to stop.
God sustain my life, meet my anger and turn it your way.
Lead me through, but give me the time to work it out
Be with me and all in despair
Heavenly Father
You have given us 3 score and ten
70 years form our birth to our grave
70 years in exile, in struggle.
DO not forget your creations oh Lord
Forget not me as I make my way
When my heart grows faint.
when I struggle to advance
Cover me with your wings
breath on the embers of my spirit
restore my strength oh Lord!
Help me to live not perish
Acknowledge me my saviour
comfort me in my fearfulness
But for you, I would give up
Without you I would embrace the grave.
As I consider my destruction, call me back
As I surrender to despair, stay in my hand.
lift me on your wings
Embrace me with your love
Without you, I am empty, I am alone.
God - I can't hear you when I listen at night:
and gaze at flickering stars and full moon.
God - I can't see you when I wake:
in faces, moments, places and all the photos that I own.
God - I can't talk to you when I am on my own:
silence, blackness, emptiness swallow all my words.
God - can you hear me?
my cry for answers, for rest, for peace, and for justice.
God - can you see me?
my tears of anger, loss, isolation and longing.
God - can you talk to me?
tell me that you love me, tell me that it will be OK
I know that you are there, my God.
keep me strong
help me to believe
Amen.
Psalm 137 - rewrite
I sat at the dining room table after church with a coffee in my hand and
wept inside when I remembered the Kingdom vision of faith affecting all of
life and culture, and of God infusing all of reality with his inspiration
and Spirit igniting my soul with fire and excitement.
Yet the service was so bereft of any of this. It wasn't a one off either. .
. . .. .. The stereotypes of Christians in the culture ring too true - nice,
moral majority, quaint, well meaning, elderly but irrelevant to life today.
Friends always look surprised when they discover I go to church... ... why?
I can't sing at church any more - the words sound hollow and trite - like
the band playing nice jazz while the titanic sinks.
How can I express what is inside in this situation of exile? But I mustn't
lose the vision - if I lose the vision I have wasted my life!
It would be easy to blame the gods of postmodernism and see them as the new
Babylon but I fear the enemy is within. The church is where the surgery is
needed. I wish you would go and drown in the sea so we could start again
from scratch.
Exile
A secure future, mapped out, triumphant, successful
Shattered by a broken roof
Homeless
Friendless
We thought we'd heard God
But he was saying something very different
And had to use drama, storms, crashes and falling ceilings
To make himself heard over our smug complacency
We tried to hear again.
Started again
Lots of change, feelings of being let down, rejected
struggling to survive.
An enforced separation from present and expected future
Became a journey to a new present and a different future
Bleak days, loneliness, abandonment
led the way to a new home, new role, new friends, new future
Thankyou Lord for showing that Lord
and for staying with us as the echoes faded, the rubble settled,
If I get that complacent, that safe, that secure
Do it again
Do it again.
Exile
Its a very lonely place
I don't know what to say
Have I missed your face
Or are you showing me the way
I'm finding this quite scary
I haven't been here before
The structures that I'm used to
Are no longer the law
I'm searching for perfect freedom
The liberty to be me
Is this your kingdom?
Is Jesus still the key
My friends don't understand
they're content to stay
You're taking me on an adventure
You are the potter, I am the clay.
Please protect me Lord
I don't want to get it wrong
I want to know your nearness
may my life be a song
I dedicate myself to you
You're showing me the way
I want to be found in your truth
If that's OK.
Sharon Downing